mason and i broke up last night.
i can't be with an alcoholic.
i just cant do it.
and i can be with some one who disregards my feelings about so many things.
i understand that there should be some compromise but i'm not even granted that.
when i called him to tell him that i might possibly never have a child and have the cancer bs he didn't even care.
he burped.
really, he did.
he says things in hurtful ways and doesn't care about anything but himself.
i love him but thats part of growing up right?
dating to see the qualities you like in someone and the qualities you don't,
and breaking things off if the diskiled qualities outweigh the good ones.
i'm not 100% sure if they outweigh they good ones but they are pretty heavy dislikes.
its going to suck, just like all break ups do.
hm, its for the best i suppose.
i hate hurting him.
isn't that weird?
i hate hurting him but he doesnt care about hurting me.
well, today is a new day and despite all of the negative things that just keep attacking my life i am going to treat it as such, a bright new day.
mom's annual dessert party tonight.
my two best friends will be here to destract me from my demons.
"meet my phantoms, they never seem to want to go away."
i'll have a good day, i'll have a good day, i'll have a good day...
that has to be my maxim.
i can't let things get any worse.
